Letters from the Late
by blue phoenix42
Summary: Scott is MIA leaving John to be strong for the family. But will a simple letter bring Johns world crashing down around him? "I need you to look out for everyone; you have to be more than ears now Johnny… you have to be the eyes, the ears, the heartbeat and soul of this family" - One-shot


**Hello Everyone! Sorry it's been awhile since my last update. Speaking of which Thankyou for the lovely reviews, you guys actually have no idea how good you make me feel when I get a review! To answer the questions of many unfortunately I don't think I will be continuing my story Hope for Him. It was intended to be a one-shot and I think it should stay that way. However in saying that I might and this is a big might post a sequel but I am unsure. Anyways on with this new story, its a bit sad and hopefully it will make you cry because that is the reaction I am going for but who knows :) I don't own the Thunderbirds but I do own they story line.**

 **The Boys ages are: Scott - 19 John - 17 Virgil - 15 Gordon - 13 Alan - 10**

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"Damn it Gordon! Where did you put it?" What a great way to start the morning, I thought sourly. It wasn't even 9 o'clock and I'd already fallen victim to the little prankster. A shout from outside alerted me to where said younger brother might be "Whatever ever it was I didn't hide it, break it or do it!"

Great, just great; sometimes that kid drove me insane! Abandoning my search of the living room I quickly made my way upstairs. Entering my room I started my search again, for the 3rd time today. Grunting as I kicked my toe on my hockey bag, I swear if I so much as found the tiniest bit of evidence that Gordon had hid it, I was gonna flip. I mean seriously, I was positive I made sure that no pesky little brother would even be able to reach the object in question, however it seems as though I had underestimated the fourth youngest ability to get things when he wanted. Apparently even the highest self in my room couldn't stop the little devil. My eagle eyes scanned the room, once I was satisfied that the object in question was not in my room I moved my search elsewhere.

Gordon's room was next on my hit list. While the little prankster was good pranking, he wasn't particularly creative when it came to hiding things, so naturally the most logical place to search was his room. I stalked out of my room and down the hall; I could hear music blaring out of Virgil's room. I think he was listening to 'we will rock you' but it was lost amongst the heavy beat of the base, trust Virgil to be listening to good old fashioned rock before 9 o'clock. Continuing on my mission I soon found myself in front of the 2nd youngest door.

My hand was on the door knob, ready to be turned but for some reason I didn't turn it. Instead my gaze fell upon the door at the opposite end of the corridor. The door that had always been open during my childhood now stood ominously closed and silent. That was Scott's door.

Just staring at the door brought back so many memories, one in particular though. I was only little at the time, maybe around four or five. I asked dad why my door was so far away from Scott's, I mean in the eyes of a five year old who worshipped my big brother, Scott's door was simply too far away for my liking. My father, although confused by the question, still replied "Johnny, you and Scott are the oldest that means it's your job to protect the youngest. Scott is so far away from you because he is protecting the younger ones, just like how you protect the younger ones from your end. If Scott misses something because he's too far away, your mother and I know you will hear it because your closer"

I remember that day quite clearly because I thought my Father was very funny for assuming that my big brother would 'miss something' Even at the age of seven nothing got past Scott, nevertheless from that day on I made a promise to all my brothers, including Scott. I promised them I would always listen out for them and be there to help if they needed.

Back then I was so sure that I would never need to look out for them because Scott would always be there. Some years later, on the day that Scott left for Basic Training, I knew that promise would now come into play. I guess after all these years; I broke my promise because how could I listen out for Scott when his door had fallen silent a long time ago.

Forgetting about retrieving the missing object I felt my feet pull me away from Gordon's door. Before my brain even registered what it was doing I found myself at Scott's door.

My hand gripped the handle so tight I saw my knuckles turn white; still in one quick movement I opened the door.

I was greeted with Scott's usual decor, neat and tidy with everything in its place and airplane poster lining the walls. At the end of his neatly made bed was the quilt mum made for him when he was a baby. She had made us each a quilt when we were born, each with our favourite colour. Scott's was a dark electric blue, mine was a dull burnt orange colour, Virgil's was a deep forest green, Gordons a bright happy yellow and lastly Alan's a fierce and fiery red.

Moving inside the room I looked over at his bed side table. On it was a photo of the family, the day we first brought Alan home from hospital. Beside that photo was a photo of my family at the snow, just before the fatal avalanche that stole our mother from us. I think only Scott and my father has a copy of that photo, it brings back too many painful memories for the rest of us but I know its Scott's favourite photo. He always said it reminded him of happier simpler times.

Walking across the room I opened his bedside table and there it lay. The photo each one of us had in our own rooms – the last photo of our mother. When Scott had first received his orders to complete a tour in Afghanistan I asked him if he was going to take the photo. He looked at me and smiled his warm smile and said "No I'm not going to take it" when he first said that I was shocked he must have seen my face because he quickly continued "John I need you to do me a favour, OK?" Everything about his posture and tone of voice told me he was deadly serious, I simply nodded "I need you to look out for everyone; you have to be more than ears now Johnny… you have to be the eyes, the ears, the heartbeat and soul of this family. I want you to look after this picture for me and I'll get it when I come back ok? I promise"

I was still shocked, wouldn't Scott need her more? When I voiced my concerns he chuckled "trust me John you need mum more than I do" back then he was right I did need mum, looking after three younger siblings wasn't easy even with dads help. But now? I'm pretty sure Scott needs mum more.

I've thought about that conversation ever since dad told us Scott was missing in action or MIA in military terms. It has only been 3 weeks since he was labelled MIA and I know the military is still looking for him, but they won't look forever because at the end of the day, Scott's just a soldier, a damn good one but still a soldier. The Army won't waste much more time on him, even if he is their best pilot and even if he is Jeff Tracy's son.

I closed the side table with the picture still in there, it will stay there until Scott comes home and puts it on display; I am adamant about that fact. Glancing across I saw Scott's bed, nearly made as ever. I knew Virgil slept in here sometimes, especially since Scott had been labelled MIA. However out of all the times I caught him in here he never once was under the covers and his head was never once on the pillow. I asked him why this was and replied "I want it to be just right for when Scotty gets home, he made it just the way he likes it and I want to keep it that way" The fourteen year old looked so determined and innocent that I didn't have the heart to tell him that I made Scott's bed on the day he left. He asked me to as he didn't have time and I tried to replicate the way he would do it; apparently this was enough to fool the fourteen year old.

Knowing I could fix the bed without the others noticing I sat down and started running my hands along his dark blue quilt. I just sat there in silence thinking about every memory I had ever had in this room. The first time I saw a thunderstorm, the day we made mum and dads Christmas present, the day mum told us Virgil was gonna be born, the day after mums funeral when Scott showed me her star. All these memories and many more were my only link with my brother now.

I can't ever remember a time when I couldn't go in Scott's room, even during his teenage years he always made sure we came first. I could feel tears welling in my eyes but I couldn't let them fall. No, I had promised Scott I would be strong for our brothers and so I would be, until he came back and became strong enough for all of us once more.

Bringing my legs up onto the bed, I began to lay down, my head dropping ever closer to Scott's pillow. I knew everyone would be mad that I was on Scott's bed but right now I didn't care, I needed a moment. In my moment I needed Scott but he wasn't here so his pillow would have to suffice; besides what the others didn't know wouldn't hurt them.

As my head touch the cool, firm pillow I heard a small crunch. The kind of crunch you here when paper is being crumpled. Slowly lifting my head, I turned my body so I was looking at his pillow. I was now curious, something I might regret later. Sitting up, I tested my theory by gently pushing on the pillow. Sure enough it made another crunch. Lifting up the pillow I balanced it on my lap. I started poking it but I didn't hear any more crunches. Frowning at the pillow I slammed my hand down straight into the middle of it, still no crunch. Now convinced that I was hearing things I went to place the pillow back on the bed, when I froze.

There lying where the pillow once was, were five crisp white envelopes. Scooting closer to the envelopes, I picked up the small pile and started looking through them. Each envelope had one of our names on it, all written in Scott's usual block print writing. After finding the one with my name on it I replaced the other to their original spot. I stared at it, should I open it? It had my name on it after all. But then again Scott had hidden it, under his pillow, which I shouldn't touch and in his room which I shouldn't be in...But it had my name on it. Right there in black and white, was my name. I ignored the voice in my head that told me to leave it alone, I flipped the letter. Peeling away the side of the letter, I peeked inside. As I suspected there was a letter in there, but why would Scott write a letter to me? Better yet why didn't he give it to me? To any of us? Taking a deep breath to prepare myself I unfolded the letter and began to read.

 _Dear John,_

 _Please excuse my writing; I can't stop my hands from shaking. You have no idea how hard it is to write this letter. No doubt you've been in my room and found this and the others and for that I'm sorry because chances are I'm not with you. As I said before your letter was the hardest to write because I know you will maybe not accept what I am about to say but you will understand. Chances are that you have been crying in my room when you found this so that either means I'm dead or MIA and for that I'm sorry. For nineteen years I have protected you and the others but it I can't do it now, from this far away, so the responsibility falls to you. It's a lot of pressure looking after the younger ones but I know you will be fine. You remember when you were little and Dad told you that you had to be strong because you were a big brother? Well Johnny I need you to stay strong and look after our brothers, please Johnny don't shut yourself away again, they need you. I have no doubt that Virgil is being a handful at the moment, he probably doesn't want anyone going in my room in case it changes, am I right? He will understand one day, I know he will. You know he told me to get lost today, because I told him I was leaving for Afghanistan. He took it bad; as I'm sure the punch mark on your arm will tell you (again sorry for that, I didn't think he would actually punch you). Make sure Gordon stays outta trouble, he's going to need you more now than ever, make sure he laughs at least once a day. That's his gift, making others laugh just don't let him forget that he has to laugh too. Hug Alan for me, I bet he still thinks I'm coming home, which I hope I am, but if I'm not Johnny I need you to tell them I love them and I'm sorry I can't protect them anymore._

 _Ok Johnny now I need you to do me a favour and it's gonna sound weird so prepare yourself. If I am dead - sorry if I am - do you think you could bury me in my Air Force uniform with a picture of all of you? Including mum? If you can't I understand, it's just I never got the chance to tell anyone what I wanted in case I did... Well yeah you get the point. Thanks John for always being there. Oh Alan wants me to play catch with him now so I better go, could be the last time I play with sprout. Before I go, I need one last favour. I have no doubt that you are the one who found the letters so I want you to hold onto them. Please don't give the others their letters until their 16th birthdays or in dads case his 60th. I want them to know I still love them but they won't understand until then. Thanks Johnny remember I love you all, take care of the younger ones and yourself. I'm proud of you John; I'll always look down from the stars and think of you._

 _Much love Scott_

I was in tears now, silent tears as the younger ones might hear. I shuddered and barely contain all my emotions. I was angry, sad, scarred and confused. How could he do this? How could he be so selfish and leave me here? Leave my brothers here? I knew my thoughts were based on the anger I was feeling but honestly I couldn't stop them. He wrote this letter sounding like he was dead, like he somehow already knew he would be going and not returning.

It wasn't fair, for God sakes! Alan wouldn't even remember him, he was too young and his memories of our big brother would fade. No, it wasn't true. I wouldn't accept that, Scott Tracy didn't go down that easy and he would defiantly not leave his brothers alone.

I stood up and furiously walked over to the window. I stood there just staring out at the too happy day. Didn't the sun know my mood was too anguished for it to shine so bright? I stood just staring at nothing, my brain wasn't even thinking now. My whole world had stopped and was on the brink of crumbling.

Suddenly I felt warmth on my shoulder, but my brain was to numb to react. Slowly the warmth began to feel like a hand on my shoulder and before I knew it words were being slowly whispered in my ear.

 _Don't give up Johnny, Stay strong little brother. I am with you now, I always will be. I will never leave you or stop loving you. I can see the stars from where I am Johnny, their so bright. Ill shine like one of your beloved stars now Johnny right next to mum. I'll always shine for you Johnny; I'll always be your guide. I love you, don't ever forget that. I love you._

Slowly I felt the hand leave my shoulder; I didn't want it to go. I turned around and screamed, I didn't care anymore, I didn't care who heard me. "Don't leave me, come back!" I fell to my knees my next words a mere whisper "I need you, we all need you" I sat there on the floor of Scott's room and cried, a part of me was listening for the inevitable footsteps that would have followed my outburst. However no such footsteps came, which left me to sort out my emotions thankfully in peace.

I sat there until dinner time, I knew I had wasted the whole day but it didn't matter anymore. I slowly worked my way out of Scott's room, making everything was in order before I left. Gently closing his door I trudged downstairs, no doubt my family would just be sitting down for tea by now.

Upon reaching the dinner table I realised no one was there. I must have been early so instead of waiting for the family I heated up some 2 minute noodles and sat down by myself. I reasoned with myself inside my head, surly it would be easier if I eat on my own tonight. It would mean that I would have fewer questions to answer tonight but more I would have tomorrow.

Eventually I decided that it would be better if I finished my tea quickly and then retreated to my room upstairs for the rest of the night. Hopefully my plan would mean that I would be left alone at least until tomorrow.

I guess I blanked out at that point because the next thing I knew; there was a searing hot pain across my face. I blinked owlishly, trying to clear my vision it was only then I heard voices around me. "Did it work?" That was defiantly Alan. "I don't know. Dad I'm scarred why isn't he moving?" That was Gordon but why did he sound so scarred? "Geez dad, how hard did you hit him? I think he's in shock" Virgil? When did he get here? When did all of them get here? "It wasn't that hard" Dad? Was dad the one who had just hit me? I turned to face them all; I was still blinking like mad. I was so confused when did they all get here? Surely I would have heard them enter? And why did they hit me? A simple hello would have been enough. Dad's gruff voice cut me out of my thoughts "Johnny son, can you hear me?" Well duh of course I could hear him I wasn't deaf!

Then it struck me I hadn't spoken yet. "Yeah why wouldn't I be able to hear you?" The sound of my voice had a massive reaction on my family; they all let out sighs of relief much to my confusion. "Dad what's going on? Who hit me?" Dad's relieved face turned into a frown; maybe I shouldn't have asked that question. "Johnny do you know what happened?" I had a sarcastic answer but one look at my father's face told me a simple nod would be better. Shaking my head to indicate 'no' I saw my father's frown deepen.

"Um, ok ill start from the start then. Basically Gordon came in here to tell you the good news but you weren't responding, he called out for me and the rest of us came running. You weren't moving or responding in any way, just staring straight through us. Johnny we called your name for 5 minutes when you didn't respond we became worried. Eventually I had to hit you, nothing else was working. I'm sorry for hitting you son but I was worried, we all were"

I mulled the story over in my head. Was I really unresponsive for all that time? How had I just blanked out like that? "Johnny are you ok? You don't look so good" "I'm fine sprout I was just thinking, guess I must has spaced out big time" Alan and Gordon seemed convinced but Virgil and dad were harder to fool, I knew this was going to require a long talk later, but I couldn't talk right now so instead I changed the subject.

"You said Gordon was coming to tell me good news? What was it?" Instantly my family's faces brightened and they all looked at Gordon waiting for him to answer. He was practically bouncing off the walls and his first words were uncomprehend able. "Whoa Gordy slow down, say that again" Gordon looked at me his brow furrowed at my inability to follow what he had just said. His frown didn't last long through as he explain to me again much slower this time. "I said, they found him Johnny. They found Scott, he's alive"

I've never been so happy to hear those words in my whole entire life. I couldn't believe it; I had to double check "he's alive?" It came out as a whisper but I knew they heard me. My Father confirmed it for me. "Yes Johnny, Scott is very much alive" It was at that moment that I knew, the promise I had made applied more now than ever before.

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 **Well? What did you guys think? To clarify some things, Scott is currently MIA and as for what john is searching for well I left that for you to decided :) Please Review, constructive criticism is always welcome so I can improve my writing. If you have any questions just ask :) Thanks again.**

 **- _blue phoenix42_**


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